Conflict Competence: A Must-Have Skill for Senior Public Servants

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Conflict comes from differing opinions and approaches between colleagues. It is an inevitable part of public service. How we handle it can make the difference between positive or negative outcomes, affecting both our organization’s and personal well-being. Unresolved conflict not only consumes valuable time and resources, but it can also cause the associated pain to linger. Conflict competence offers a chance to equip ourselves with the tools to transform conflict into an opportunity for growth and collaboration.

This article looks at Conflict Competence as it applies to common workplace situations in which you might find yourself in a disagreement with a colleague or stakeholder about an approach, a policy interpretation or an unpopular decision. It focuses on what you can do rather than on others. In short, it is about an individual learning new conflict management skills. 

Not included in the scope of this article is abuse of authority, which is an important, but different topic that involves an abrasive colleague or supervisor. In this situation, recourse would be to human resources (the BC government, for example, has a bullying, harassment, and discrimination policy) or to a union representative, in the case of unionized employees.

What is Conflict Competence?

Conflict Competence is the ability to develop and use cognitive, emotional, and behavioural skills that enhance productive outcomes of conflict while reducing the likelihood of escalation or harm. The results of conflict competence include improved quality of relationships, creative solutions, lasting agreements for addressing challenges, and opportunities in the future. As with all competencies, people can learn ways to improve, change, and develop. 

Prepare for Conflict

Conflict can occur when opinions differ. When you see things differently from your supervisor or when your colleagues/staff see things differently from you – listen. Rather than only asking yourself, ‘How can I succeed in changing their minds?’ ask, ‘What is it I could know, should know or don’t know?’ Find out what you are missing. Practice changing your mind elegantly and with curiosity. Rigidity can be a weakness, and in highly complex situations, flexibility is a greater asset.

Conflict is generally not something we were taught in school, and often early family life didn’t provide many examples of healthy conflict management. This is definitely an area where awareness, practice, and a preventative approach are key.

What Does Science Tell Us?

What if you find yourself in a conflict with a colleague? From a coaching point of view, the work here is on yourself. When you accept responsibility for your own experience, you can change it. The work of Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, professor of psychology at Northeastern University, is very instructive in this regard. In a TED Talk she spoke to the idea that you aren’t at the mercy of your emotions – in fact, based on her research, your brain creates them. They aren’t hard-wired at birth. They are made as the events of your life unfold. 

According to recent neuroscience research by Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, the primary job of our brain is to coordinate the systems of the body for metabolic efficiency. It is a predictive instrument. For example, when you hear a loud bang, it could be a car backfiring, a door slamming, a book falling or, depending on the events of your life, the sound of a gunshot. As a result, your brain begins to construct meaning and what might happen next. So, it follows that if you want your brain to predict something else, then you might begin to practice cultivating other options – in other words, add more data for your brain to scan. This way, you can avoid quickly becoming polarised when a conflict occurs.

Here is a TED Talk by Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett on this topic: https://lisafeldmanbarrett.com/2018/01/13/ted-talk-you-arent-at-the-mercy-of-your-emotions-your-brain-creates-them/

What Can You Do?

In the early stages of a conflict, you may be able to mediate the situation yourself. As time passes and opinions harden, it may be best to call in an outside mediator. 

Learn to manage conflict so that those who are party to it, including yourself, are safe from passive retribution, such as shunning, or some form of direct retribution, such as shaming. 

If you sense that your emotions might be hijacking your reactions to events or situations, you can work with an executive coach to find new ways to prepare and respond.  Dr Feldman Barrett suggests that once a set of predictions is launched, it is very hard to put the brakes on. If you can control your predictions, you can control your emotions, and one way to do that is by seeding the brain with new predictions before the heat of the moment. Try to cultivate different emotional responses and give some thought to whether your interpretation, based on body language, facial expressions or your experience, tells the whole story. 

An executive coach can help you learn more about yourself – through assessment tools and feedback. It’s possible to pinpoint things that trigger you and get ahead of them so that you are less likely to be the author of conflict. 

Some Parting Thoughts

Learning how to build your ability to collaborate and deal with conflict can take time as well as trial and error. A good way to learn is to ask someone, whose skills you admire, how they do it. Another way is to ask your boss or colleague with more experience to share what works well for them.

If you disagree with the ideas, then ask yourself, what do you think instead? It’s a good way to find your personal style!